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How To Write Like a 5th Grader

Here's a handy guide on how to write a killer 5-paragraph essay, just like a 5th grader would.

Recipe

Here's the recipe for disaster:

This is what my school taught me, by the way!

Text Only
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(5 spaces to indicate new paragraph) Introduction or topic sentence. Thesis outlining three main points. Summary of opening paragraph.
(5 spaces) Introduction for first argument. More detail about first argument. Summary of first argument.
(5 spaces) Introduction for second argument. More detail about second argument. Summary of second argument.
(5 spaces) Introduction for third argument. More detail about third argument. Rebuttal sentence. Summary of third argument.
(5 spaces) Introduction for the conclusion. Restate your thesis. Summary of conclusion.

Sample

Disaster in 3... 2... 1...

Dogs Are The Best Pet

I think dogs are the best pet. I think dogs are the best pet because they are cute, loyal, and you can play with them. That's why I think dogs are the best pet.

I think dogs are the best pet because they are cute. Cute dogs are fun to pet and snuggle with. Cute dogs make good pets.

I think dogs are the best pet because they are loyal. Loyal dogs wait for their owner to come home and are always happy to see them. Loyal dogs make good pets.

I think dogs are the best pet because you can play with them. It's fun to play fetch with your dog. However, cats are not as fun to play with. I think pets should be playful.

Dogs are the best pet. Dogs are cute, loyal, and you can play with them, which makes them the perfect pet. That's why I think dogs are the best pet.